Guys-can we have real talk for a second? How many of you guys follow Instagram accounts featuring these amazing travel locations and a cliche looking girl wandering looking up at them in some flouncy gorgeous dress? A lot of times she’ll have a hat on.
Do you have an image in mind? If not, quickly check Instagram and hashtag dame travelers or girls who travel or something of the sort.
Cool, we’re all on the same page.
Is this just me or is that fucking ridiculous? Like makes for a great picture don’t get me wrong but come on. NO ONE and I mean no one looks that great when they’re constantly traveling. Or if they do like their sandals have to be killing them. Or they bought an outfit to change into.
And yeah I’m guilty of trying to create the same pictures too but that is the furthest from reality. I’m a total mess. And when I get in front of the camera I instantly feel like a freak and don’t know what to do with my body so I do some outrageous ridiculous goofy pose.
When I was backpacking for a year some of the most horrendous photos of me appeared. You don’t believe me? I created a whole photo folder called ugly photos of Phyllis that I would show my friends. And they would die laughing. Somehow I managed to add an extra claw onto my body or go cross-eyed or end up with a bloated stomach looking like an insane monster. Like tears from laughing so hard they were so tremendously ugly.
I also thought it was hilarious but there was no way in hell I was putting some of those photos up on Facebook. If only I did because when my computer crashed I tragically lost the whole ugly photos folder.
Another lesson for another day–back up your shit.
Anywho, my point is that we’re constantly bombarded with these photos of these model-esque girls traveling but traveling doesn’t look anything like that. You can’t look pretty when you’ve been traveling for 36 hours or have wind in your hair or are sick from food poisoning or just in general all the fucking time.
So in this spirit, I thought it’d be fun to share some of my most candid photos. The ones where I look like a total goofball or freak. Since that’s me like 90% of the time.
And to be honest I was cracking up going through all of my old photos. So here are my favorites, completely unedited and completely ridiculous. Don’t judge me too hard… And just know that there’s worse out there. I’ll save snail Phyllis for another day.
I’ll ease you guys into it. This photo isn’t really ugly. But I definitely don’t look like some glamorous goddess here.
Yeah we had to wear these fun little outfits going on this weird float up boat thing where Andrew was tossed off and broke his teeth. Fun times. But whew. Not the most spectacular look.
Not too bad either but…
Had to prepare ya’ll for this. Friends who screenshot stuff suck…
Experimenting with water photography and looking like a total goober in the process. Like, I want to hit me here.
Me and Kevin found these cat jackets in Vientiane. Too much.
Exploring the ruins of Angkor Wat. I was just trying to take a break and have a snack.
I look like a gremlin.
And like this photo isn’t too bad but it’s so painfully awkward…
Everyone else looks great and like, the wind is in my face.
Trying to be model-esque and swing off a bull’s horn. Look all cultural and shit.
Like, I can’t even.
This wasn’t even a hard hike!
What I look like first thing in the morning.
LOL! That is still the nerdiest face I’ve ever seen.
Obviously water isn’t my element.
People (my friends!!) not even realizing we’re taking a photo here…
When you see the Pope…
I’m telling you guys I freak in front of the camera.
And frequently close my eyes.
I hope I’ve shattered any illusions that I look good traveling. Or am comfortable in front of the camera. Or that travel is pretty. Or that I’m not a major goof. One last final pic…
Because Snapchat has gone too far.
Are you tired of seeing gorgeous girls everywhere who have been photoshopped and look too freaking fantastic? Girl me too.